Dutch sex chat
If you have got it wrong and she asks “Why are you laughing?
”, smoothly explain that you were just remembering something she said earlier.
To be fair, Dutch women are the victim of a culture and educational system that has, over the past five decades, burdened them with an increasingly unrealistic set of expectations with regard to the world, their place in it and the role of men in their lives.
A recent survey showed that 99.998% of Dutch women are now deeply unhappy, all of the time (100% if you exclude women in comas).
Perhaps the very worst thing you could do would be to attempt to make a joke.This can be pretty scary if you have never experienced it before - you think you have just had a pleasant, reciprocally satisfying shag but, within seconds of exit, you’ve got this girl screaming at you in Dutch.The correct response is to apologise profusely while trying to find your underpants and get the Hell out of there, dodging flying objects as you flee.So, remember, when talking to a Dutch woman and, in particular, when chatting one up, you job is to let her do all the talking, remain attentive, laugh wherever possible, channel your inner-empathetic-gay when she talks about sad shit, express gentle sympathetic fury whenever she mentions any male in her life and, obviously, buy all her drinks and pay for the taxi.It will probably be a lot more trouble and expense than just visiting a hooker but, then again, you certainly will have a war story you will remember for the rest of your life.
Apply absolute concentration to prevent any flickers of doubt from emerging, even in your eyes, no matter how dumb, illogical and self-contradictory her story becomes: this is a test and she will be watching, hawk-like, for any signs of that you too are, in fact, one of the evil males (to Dutch women, all males are evil accept for the gay ones and, possibly, if you are really lucky, you).