Dating in early twenties
Friends with benefits often turns into full-fledged loving relationships. Dates often include going back to someone’s fabulous house/apartment where they live alone and you can sleep there and then wake up wearing their button-down shirt looking really adorable for someone who just had a one-night stand and then you can go home and gossip about it at brunch with your friends. Except for the gossiping at brunch with your friends part. I say I had “long, hard” years of dating in my 20s, because dating in your 20s hard. I met awful dudes and do not have one positive story from the experience (some amusing stories, though).
If you’re single for too long, you have to buy a cat. It’s also an exciting learning experience that will leave you with a lot of stories to tell in the future. The basic premise is that if a dude likes you, he will try for you. Is it possible for guys to regress in age as they get older? Many dudes in their 20s end up getting so freaked out by the pressure of commitment that they start to act immature and treat girls terribly. I know people who have stuck with it and ended up meeting awesome people they love now. But know that it will take you longer than a week to find your soulmate. Your friends will become boring once they’re in a serious relationship.
Then a few friends started getting engaged, and I started being that girl. It’s the best place to meet a desperate guy who went out with the goal of finding someone to talk to. As you get older, settling becomes easier because you feel more pressure to meet someone. You might think that people get smarter about dating as they get older, but they usually don’t. As the people around you get engaged, get married, have kids, and start adult lives, you feel the pressure, whether you want to or not. It’s the best way to meet a drunk dude who will take your phone number then forget to call you. When you’re 17 and you break up with someone, you know that logically you have a lot of time to meet other people. And so, you’ll watch a lot of your friends do stupid things, stay with people they shouldn’t stay with, and get totally screwed over. You’ll have days where you don’t give a eff, but you’ll also have days where you care. When you’re 26 and half of your friends are engaged and you break up with someone, you feel very hopeless and alone. You might want to react like Nick Carraway and get drunk (and you legally can), but that’s probably a terrible idea. But there genuinely are people out there who are scared of commitment, and getting through to them can be very hard. It wasn’t until my 20s that I realized this was a problem. I’m not saying you shouldn’t know what you want, and of course you need some standards. Go on a date with the dude who has the job you hate. I wasn’t following my heart or doing what I felt was right – I was doing what my friends told me to do. We were in our own platonic “relationships” with each other, and it was the best. Have a conversation with the person who is cute but has opposite political views as you.
Putting yourself out there in ways you never thought you would is dating in your late 20s — get used to it.