Benefits of dating black women
Both of us seasoned writers, my co-author, Janice Roshalle Littlejohn and I went to work writing the first handbook on how to navigate the ups and downs and ins and outs of interracial relationships from a black woman’s perspective.
Then the letters rolled in…dozens of black women writing about how my story and the other stories in “Swirling” and on my blog, Beyond Black & White, inspired them to take the risk and find their happy-ever-after in whatever package it came in. I remember when I stumbled across it & it was so awesome to finally find a community of like-minded women!
I saw so many of my fellow African American sisters truly desiring committed partners in marriage and intact homes for their children, despite the astronomical reality that 72% of black American children are born out of wedlock.
For a variety of reasons, “our men” weren’t marrying us like they used to and the problem has now become entrenched and normalized in our culture.
It is a simple message, but it needed to be said explicitly because some black women feel like they need permission to swirl.
The message in those stories is that if black women dig deep and not be so prissy about it, they just might find that “good black man” with a heart of gold, if not a bit poor and non-degreed.Somehow melanin content superseded any other tangible qualities like intelligence, education, career aspirations, or the ability to provide and protect a wife and family.Educated and successful black women are regularly told that their standards are too high, and that their degrees won’t keep them warm at night.Ironically, black men on the same level of education and money-making potential as black women often do not limit themselves to coupling within their race.They happily entertain all their options, and marry interracially twice as often as black women do.
It is not hard to understand why white men love black women. We come in all shapes and sizes and have a wide range of personalities.